Being able to deal with difficult conversations effectively is an essential business skill that is invaluable in maintaining good relationships and retaining business. Erika lucas august 25, 2015 when it comes to difficult situations at work, im the peacekeeper the one who tries to smooth ruffled feathers and keep everyone happy. Difficult conversations workshop mwis difficult conversations two days builds on the foundational skills and frameworks introduced at mwis negotiation skills workshop. It is precisely at those times when communication is most vital to achieving your goals that it breaks down most dramatically. The conversations presented were not ones i would consider difficult as they only require basic counseling skills. The difficult conversations activity came at just the right time for us as we were designing a people management course which included having difficult conversations. From the parents who want to help their students succeed in everything they do, to the coach who wants to have his or her best athletes on the court in every game, things. Having difficult conversations linkedin slideshare. How to have difficult conversations and stay true to yourself. Dealing with difficult conversations whats your type. Difficult conversations dont always end the way you think they will. Most are not skilled facilitators with a repertoire of techniques for dealing with group problems and most dont have time to read a battery of selfhelp books.
The secret to a successful difficult conversation is to prepare. Learn how to apologise, deliver bad news, empathise, avoid selftalk hijack, interact with difficult people, etc. This oneday workshop is designed to help you approach difficult conversations with confidence, and manage them skillfully so that feelings are spared and the organizations best interests are kept front and centre. Knowing strategies for turning difficult encounters into learning opportunities enables us to address important, but. This guide, then, keeps the focus where it belongs on you. Fieldproven exercises from the authors worldwide experience easytofollow instructions for preparation, additional reading, and q a processes valuable essays on handling conflict situations an exercise matrix to sort activities by type, length, and other parameters it also. When difficult conversations turn toxic, its often because weve made a key mistake. On your understanding of yourself, on your understanding of the other person, and on your understanding of how the two of you play off of each other. Order your copy now and start tackling those difficult conversations right away. And in all of this, remember to manage your emotions before, during and after the meeting. Resources for difficult conversations in the classroom tntp. You project authority and confidence through one style and. Thats why 50 activities for dealing with difficult discussions at work is such a valuable training tool. Use the difficult conversations selfassessment tool to understand your comfort and behaviors with difficult conversations.
This advanced negotiation course offers helpful advice, tools and frameworks designed to understand our own and others behaviors during difficult conversations. To address any issues, you cannot rely on personal confidence and professional experience alone, or the relationship you have with your colleagues. We believe that we know what is really happening and what needs to happen. In this video, fred kofman explains how to remain true to yourself and, at the same time, open to your counterpart. The philosophy behind handling difficult people training course dealing with difficult people is one of the most demanding parts of peoples professional and sometimes personal life. The grand jury decision not to indict nypd officer daniel pantaleo on december 3 rd sparked more nationwide protests and an outpouring of perspectives, including our own. Holding difficult conversations training course business. Authentic communication leads to greater understanding and teamwork martha lasley abstract this article offers a practical approach to facilitating difficult conversations.
Yet avoiding difficult conversations or mishandling them can result in many negative consequences. Emotions are probably running high by the time you hear about the problem, so you know going in the discussion could get testy. The book creates awareness on several areas, which when neglected, create distress for many relationships at professional and personal areas. Managing difficult conversations training pd training. Handling difficult people training course materials skills. During this training course, participants develop an understanding of where, when, why and how to conduct difficult conversations.
There are also times when it is important not to engage in a difficult conversation and let it go. Everyday low prices and free delivery on eligible orders. There are a number of reasons that make certain conversations difficult and an easy conversation can become a difficult conversation very quickly. Everyone who is sad, mad, or frustrated shares a common goal. When i have worked with middle managersteam leaders, this is usually the aspect of their work that they find really challenging and they often make matters worse by avoiding addressing the difficult issue in the early stages. So, in the nature of imperfection and lessons learned, allow me to offer the following suggestions to help this process. Taking the difficult out of difficult conversations july 18, 20 maureen brodie, m. Strategies for handling difficult conversations by juli doshan on march 10, 2016 hst. Teach employees how to be better and more confident communicators in just a. The exercises in this module can be completed in about 80 minutes. Difficult conversations are anything we find hard to talk about with another person.
Start from the inside or the identity conversation and the feeling conversation, before you have the what happened conversation. Oct 12, 2010 a whimsical, practical look at what derails us. Managing difficult conversations training speak first. Jun 25, 2014 use the difficult conversations selfassessment tool to understand your comfort and behaviors with difficult conversations.
It shows you how to get ready, how to start the conversations in ways that reduce defensiveness, and how to keep the conversation on a constructive track regardless of how the other person responds. Taught in an interactive workshop format, this instructorled course offers processes and tools for making hard conversations easier to hold. Contains workbooks, course notes, slides, trainer guides and exercises. Once you acknowledge to yourself your identity issues and feelings, you will not need to feel and act. Teachers often are hesitant to raise topics such as racism, sexism, economic injustice, and heterosexism in the classroom because their training has not prepared them to handle the issues and exchanges that may result. The simplest interactions with these types of people, consumes a lot of time and energy and can leave people feeling tired and emotionally drained. We are restricted by time but would like all to openly discuss and ask questions when they need to. Aug 25, 2015 dealing with difficult conversations whats your type. Mar 26, 2017 some difficult conversations involve playing peacemaker between your direct reports and other coworkers. Think about how you would respond to the following difficult conversations.
Difficult conversations seem to be very few peoples forte. Its very unlikely that a teacher will have had any formal training in managing difficult conversations, but it is a really important process to get right. See more ideas about social skills, social thinking and speech and language. So, when we walk into such conversations, it certainly does take courage.
This is a very helpful book for everyone as it is highlighted in the book, we all lead difficult conversations. Handbook for facilitating difficult conversations in the classroom. Facilitators guide to participatory decisionmaking by sam kaner, the skilled facilitator. Here youll find current best sellers in books, new releases in books, deals in books, kindle ebooks, audible audiobooks, and so much more. The books homepage helps you explore earths biggest bookstore without ever leaving the comfort of your couch.
Difficult conversations managing people training activity. When i have worked with middle managersteam leaders, this is usually the aspect of their work that they find really challenging and they often make matters worse by avoiding. Presents taking the difficult out of difficult conversations. May 01, 2012 difficult conversationsdifficult conversations. Difficult conversations worksheet by douglas stone, bruce. In total, allowing for discussion, we recommend allowing about minutes for this module. On your reactions, tendencies, assumptions and skills. Sometimes things seem to explode in the classroom, and what do we do then. Tip sheet how to prepare for a difficult conversation why. The conflict and communication activity book features. Difficult conversations are scary because the stakes are high and there is a real cost of failure, raising everyones defenses. No one likes to have sensitive or tough discussions with employees, peers, clients or anyone at work. Approaching difficult conversations with confidence.
Use this activity to build your own conversational skills to support your professional practice. If you are frustrated by difficult people and stressed at the thought of having an awkward, but necessary, high stakes conversation, then check out our difficult conversations with employees blueprint its a complete stepbystep guide to how to have one of those difficult conversations you dread so much. Handbook for facilitating difficult conversations in the. Dec 11, 2014 resources for difficult conversations in the classroom december 11, 2014 the grand jury decision not to indict nypd officer daniel pantaleo on december 3 rd sparked more nationwide protests and an outpouring of perspectives, including our own. How to manage difficult conversations mindfulness exercises. Strategies for handling difficult conversations nfhs. But, when its time to have one, you must be prepared. The selfassessment evaluates the frequency of certain behaviors associated with handling difficult conversations during the prework phase, the actual conversation, and the followup once the conversation is over. Difficult conversations training course materials skills. Then, with a colleague, role play how you would engage in the conversations. Learning the art of difficult conversations worksmart. Among the most difficult conversations are those in which sensitive matters are being addressed for example. Difficult conversations selfassessment infotech research.
Difficult conversations walks you through a proven, concrete, stepbystep approach for understanding and conducting tough conversations. To help participants prepare for and conduct conversations they find difficult. In fact, i list several excellent resources at the end of this article. If you ever wanted to know how to influence and exhibit more authority in your everyday conversations, this book will help you learn the skills to do it. Difficult conversations and to practice the skills it introduces key points discuss the key takeaways from the lecture 10 mins personal inventory reflect on a difficult conversation you had recently 15 mins 3 5 practicing skills in pairs, evaluate your performance against the seven steps of an effective conversation. Training material for managing difficult conversations is designed for trainers to develop supervisors and managers abilities when dealing with tough topics.
But typically these will not be easy conversations. You will learn the difference between two styles of speaking. Our automatic reaction is defensive, and that brings out the worst in us. Managing difficult conversations training materials. The authentic communication model is more than a tool. Participants learn stepbystep techniques to communicate more effectively with others.
Because its important we speak out when difficult issues arise in the workplace. When difficult conversations turn toxic, its often because weve made a. Difficult conversations will help you improve your communication and conflictresolution skills so you can get to the root of the problemand resolve itwithout damaging the work relationships youve worked so hard to build. Here are some tips to get you feeling prepared and in the right frame of mind. Our adrenal glands prompt a fight or flight response. Though it seems obvious that we would choose to handle a crucial conversation well, there are factors that get in our way.
The toolbox if applied can be game changing for many people. People are often concerned about having a difficult conversation because theyre worried the client or colleague might. Each ones goal becomes to prove to the other that i am right and you are wrong, so you should do what i say. I will say it again, be prepared to admit where you have gone wrong. How to have difficult conversations and stay true to. A difficult conversation is difficult because we feel threatened. Teach your management how to establish positive intent, prepare their toolkit for successful conversations, staying safe and much more.
For more information, tools and tips please refer to kofmans book, conscious business, and his articles. If you consider feedback to be a regular part of your routine, so will teachers and after a while adjusting feedback wont seem so scary to everyone involved. Handling difficult conversations at work survey and results guide. When it comes to high school activities, tensions often run high. This difficult conversations course teaches participants how to navigate tough topics. Handling difficult people training course materials. The case studies and role play generated valuable discussions and the delegates commented that the planning a conversation guide was a handy tool they would use again in.